If your band mate is content with his life and if he’s content with the kind of music your band is making, he will not be pushed to improve anything. Why would he change anything if everything’s perfect, right? He feels so fulfilled everytime you play at the local bar and he is goddamn proud of your 500 fans on Facebook. Life is good for him… But it isn’t for you.
You: But we can surely do more than that! We can become the next Beatles! (ecstatic)
Him: I don’t want us to become the next Beatles. I’m happy with what we are right now.
You: Yeah? You’re happy with being nothing?
Him: Hey, we’re not nothing. 500 facebook fans is not nothing! Can’t you just be happy?
Auuuuurgh! You really can’t win if he uses the “happiness” card, can you? And sometimes you wish you’re as serene and content as that band member you hate. Life would be much simpler.
But you cannot un-want those things. You cannot lower your ambition no matter how often you meditate. Constructive discontent is necessary for a creative person- or any person for that matter. There should be enjoyment in the process of achieving very big (almost impossible to achieve) goals. Not too many people have this positive discontent. If you have it, you better hold on to it and use it to fuel your passion to achieve your goals.
Just make sure this discontent is still healthy and positive.
Do not look down on that content bad member. It’s difficult not to get turned off but you have to try to respect him as an individual. He cannot get it why you’re so discontented the same way you cannot get it why he’s so content. You do not have to have the same level of ambition.
Do not be a controlling bitch. More often than not, ambitious people tend to think that they’re doing all the hard work while the rest are just lazing around. They want to control and take orders. Don’t ever think you’re doing your band any good by becoming the boss. You can suggest, you can influence, and in some cases you can be assertive, just don’t be bossy.
Be grateful with small achievements. If you’re ambitious in a healthy way, you would still find pleasure in small achievements. For you, every small step takes you closer to your goals. But if you start to get indifferent with these small achievements, if you secretly want to say ” well, of course! Don’t expect me to clap everytime you’ve done something good”, then it’s time slap your own face. Get some air, jog, read books about gratitude. This kind of attitude will not make you successful. You don’t have to cultivate the “hard-to-please” attitude in order to become a winner.
Discontent can be a good thing only if you couple it with an upbeat and optimistic attitude. Otherwise, it could ruin your relationships, ruin your day, and ruin your health. If you’re born with it, embrace it and make sure it brings positive results.
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